Day 33 of agony
2:45 PM Friday, January 02, 2009
my sorrows for 2008 is still being brought over to 2009.
new year 2009 doesn't seems like a fresh year for me to start my life over again, cause i'm still stuck at where i've fallen since the day she left. There are things i felt so sad and disappointed with. hais!
thanks for all the free house pours from you every night to keep me going on with each day. past few days were rather sad especially on the 28 last month which is actually our fourth month anniversary, but we won't be able to spent that particular day together anymore. on that night of 28, i felt real emo and really wanted to cry again. therefore, i went over to ps to catch a movie alone followed by dessert at chinatown that i once brought you there before the week that we broke off. if you still do remember where we went right after our dessert, that is where i went after that. i crossed the bridge and walked by the riverside alone. feelings is just so different. i missed the time we spent our time together and flashes of you keep coming across my mind. the pictures we taken at the bridge, the ice-cream we ate while walking by the river, the traces we have left all over and the memories that are left behind. it's just so hurting and unforgettable.
and on the 30th which is exactly one month you've left me while i'm still holding on. as usual, this day will definitely be the moment that i'm most down and emo. went over to drink again as well as to collect my cigg. he scolded me for being stupid and i admit to it. he's not the first one saying why am i still holding on, torturing myself like this and waiting like this whereby she won't even know or give a shit to it. she's happy with love while i'm drowning with tears. sorry people, i can only say i love her too much and is already beyond my limits. don't wish to say anymore cause i'm feeling emo again.
finally it's 1st jan but it's still the same old me. thanks stella, i know you meant well for me. although you said it's now a fresh year ahead and i should put everything behind and start anew, but it's really hard. no mood for anything.
still gotta work tomorrow and where shall i spent my night tomorrow again? stressed! i'm broke, really broke. argh~
down with bad flu and cough again this morning. i've been sneezing since morning till now non-stop wtf. can't stay at home anymore. shall end here and go out now.
