Day 47 of agony

10:32 AM Friday, January 16, 2009

had a late dinner last night. initial plan was to meet up at far east and yet when i reached there, they sms-ed me to meet at geylang lor 19 instead as they're already on their way there. feel rather pissed off as they should have told me earlier instead of having me already reached there and only when i ask where they are then tell me. sped down to geylang! when i reached there, after 2 sticks, akira and co. arrived. first thing he said to me was. cb, just now you whacked pass me at bugis then jl keep saying that bike is louis! louis!. lols. anyway, had frog legs porridge for dinner as it was sh's birthday. to my surprise they said is celebrating her chinese birthday! first time hear people say celebrate chinese birthday. haha. anyway, don't really know her or should say not at all except just remember seeing once quite some times back. invitation was text to me by 'a', asking me to go as the rest of them are all going and she did invited me as well. after dinner, slacked there while waiting for some others to come.

went to balastier for durians! yummy! everyone went but only a few of us seems so crazy over it, especially hm. stall was closing but ended up still taking us as the last customers. haha. after durians, went over to boatquay and settled down for drinks. unfortunatly, saw a bitch there though she's not enemy of mine. saw tryphena too and had a few words with her. she keep telling her friend that she know the guy in white with his collar up (which is me) but just can't recall his name. haha! i saw her earlier on too and find her so familiar and is only when she keep looking at me then i recalled her name. blame myself for being such a slow poke with a freaking weak memory that seems to be worsening. she then asked where's my bike and it is just right infront of her and she shouted so loudly there it is, the bike with a school bus. make me look so ugly there.

not long later, got chased off by police there so end up got to leave. that how we call it a day. was kinda late already.

will be going for 2nd round makan durian session later, follow by desserts and ah balling. rules set for this time is, whoever delay and come late shall pay for the durians!

thanks for you guys company especially mr. ice kosong who's helping me all along during my emo days. although i can't stop myself completely from thinking, but you guys really helped alot eventhough it's just only a short period of time each day to pull me through. except my brothers, friends of mine always come and go just like my relationships. happy for my brothers that they are happily attached and feel happiness. reason for not contacting frequently or meeting up with you guys are because i wanted you all to go out in couples and i don't wish to tag along as i will think even more seeing all of you being so happy like how i used to be for the 3months after so long.

am i a very weird person? i think i am. i did something online for the 2nd time in my life, but yet i don't know why i don't seems to continue what i wanted. my msn was being added and yet i declined it. what am i doing? next time if i wanna do anything again i will ask myself truthfully what i want and what am i doing that for. sorry to that person!

the gust of wind are blowing everynight.
it's cold and i had my blanket on.
i'm still feeling cold despite the windows are shut and the fan is off.
this feelings has been going on all this while.
it's then i realised that the hugs i had to keep me warm are long gone.

sometimes i realised it wasn't me who doesn't wants to move on or to let go. it's my heart that is still holding on so tightly and having those fondest thoughts so often that are beyond my controls.

'i love you' can never be said to you anymore except only using my heart to tell yours without you knowing it.

it may sounds kinda stupid but love is meant to be silly. and i'm always the silly one!

that's how the word 'hurt' came about in love.

air supply - all out of love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?

What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone... I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong