Day 220 of agony

2:54 AM Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Last Friday Gabriel passed his class 3 and he rent a car for 3days. Went bugis for dinner and then to Kitty's house fetch her go Sam's workplace. After Sam knocked off, went over to Changi Village for supper with Ronald, Cynnthia, Ken, Yalin and Terry, followed by Loyang Dua Pek Gong. After praying, went over to Tampines Safra for a game of bowling before the rest heads home. Next, went Boatquay drink and also look for Yuren.

Pictures taken by Kitty at Orchard Central

On Saturday, went back to work in the afternoon for NDP standby till around 9.45pm. Went home bathe and then go over to Arena meet up with Gabriel and friends to drink.

As for Sunday, nothing much. Accompanied Gabriel to Turf City for car viewing together with Sam and Kitty. Night time went over Tampines Mall to watch ICE AGE 3 and then home sweet home.

Feeling so moody now. 3 more days to my Birthday yet i'm not at all looking forward to it. It's still the same old lonely me with the same old lonely Birthday.

Flashbacks of me and her strucks again eversince Sunday when Gab's car bypass her house. It makes me recall back what she said me when we just got together. I remembered i once told her i've never celebrated any of my actual Birthday with a love ones though i've got a few Ex-es.

Shall begin with my first love which lasted for 2 years. She's ain't local, but a malaysian who studied here in Singapore. She doesn't lives in Singapore and she travelled back to malaysia everyday in the beginning before she rent a place to stay over here. Therefore, my Birthday wasn't able to be celebrated with her.

For my second love, who was a colleague of mine when i worked in Ngee Ann City's Giordano outlet during my Polytechnic days. Remembered that i booked a chalet over at ECP which i've been looking forward to it yet turns out to be my most sadistic Birthday. She broke off with me just few days before my Birthday and thus making it the most emo and saddest Birthday i had. A Birthday filled with tears and without a smile. All i did was sitting at one corner, listening to love songs and then breaking down into tears if you guys still remembers. It was my 20^th Birthday then.

As for my third love which lasted for 2 and a half years when we begun on the 30^th of November in year 2005 and ended on 1^st of May last year 2008 (Labour Day). From the date we ended when she broke off with me, it's obvious i didn't get to celebrate my Birthday with her. As for the previous 2 years together, i only managed to celebrate once with her together with some buddies and guess what, it's a belated one. Reason being is she went holiday overseas with her parents and is around the same period of time for the 2 years.

As for my fourth love which is also the last one i had so far, above mentioned are what i've told her. Not forgetting the way how she embrace me in her arms and under her hugs, she told me not to feel sad anymore over the past and saying that now i've got her already and she would be there to celebrate it for me. Though i know all these words can be said easily by anyone, but i bet it wouldn't sound as sweet and heart-warming besides the one that you loved most. But right now, i know it's not possible anymore as she'd already broken off with me since 30^th of November last year 2008.

Birthday is just none other than a day that could bring so much of my unhappy memories/past to me.

Bringing back one of my favourite song by Michael Jackson, " You Are Not Alone ".

A nice song giving out it's emotional feel. Especially those first feel verse which reminded me the day she left my house without a goodbye after packing up her stuffs while i'm crying in tear and sitting aimlessly in the living room. The last glance i could only see is just a back view of her when she closed the door.

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

Somehow, still feeling miserable though it's already been so long. Bygones will always be bygones.

Labels: You Are Not Alone